Sheldon Brown |
Proudly Presents: |
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So, you already have a bamboo fixie, recycled tire-tread sandals, an all-wool kit with real chamois pad, and organic yak butter to keep it pliable?
Well, that's great, but are you still navigating by iPhone, Android, Garmin?
Hey, Hipster Hero, let's be real about getting back to basics. You could drop that device and smash the screen. The battery will run out, sooner or later. If it's a phone, your boss, significant other, anyone could call you in and spoil your ride.
You're staring at a washed-out screen the size of an index card and relying on signals from satellites swooping past, hundreds of kilometers above you! A Presidential Executive Order could shut all of them off, just like that, and then what would you do?
Getting lost is a real pain. Find Your Way Home (or to your secret cave, deep in the wilderness) with ShelBroCo RideWithoutGPS, the Navigation System That Will Never Let You Down. Buy your ShelBroCo RideWithoutGPS kit Now and never worry about getting lost again!
The compact RideWithoutGPS kit fits conveniently into a pannier, touring bag or handlebar bag. It includes large, easy-to-read maps which come to life under Full Natural Sunlight, and a top-quality orienteering compass with lanyard. RideWithoutGPS maps are printed in petroleum-free inks on environment-friendly recycled cellulose fiber products. ShelBroCo has resumed production of the famed Multito belt-driven cyclometer, which records trip mileage and total mileage! An optional convenient Olive Oil Lamp and matchbook are available for nighttime use. With only a few minutes of simple calculation, determine your trip time and average speed. Lumosity-approved!
Simplify, simplify!
H. D. T., Concord, Massachusetts
Es funktioniert überall in allen Ländern!
Alexander von H., Kalifornien
Go West, young man!
Horace. G., New York
Follow the Drinking Gourd, or if it's cloudy, use ShelBroCo RideWithoutGPS!
Harriet T., undisclosed location
Designed and made for us by Gilles Berthoud components:
Real leather; water-resistant and lasts a lifetime
From PeopleforBikes:
Low-stress bicycling,
protected from collision
until the moment of
Go as far as you please but
never wander far from home!
We survey for you and indicate recommended routes! Call for prices!
ShelBroCo Olive Oil lamp:
Easy to carry, easy to replenish!
ShelBroCo Extra-Virgin Olive Oil:
Suitable for campfire cooking, salad dressing,
-- and the ShelBroCo Olive Oil Lamp.
ShelBroCo matchbook:
Light your ShelBroCo Olive Oil Lamp. Or use matches directly to read your maps at night.
Drive pulley and belt
Odd-size wheel, or you are a stickler for accuracy? Instruction book: recalculation. or -- Custom drive pulley, sized to your specifications. Call for estimate.
*Guaranteed for the life of the user, or two weeks, whichever comes first. Void where prohibited, prohibited where void, keep away from children and animals, use only with adequate ventilation. Note: Misuse of this product may lead to death or even serious injury!
In Commemoration of The Inventor of the , Nanodrive, Product W, Carrababy, Tork-Grip Universal Torque Wrench, Real MAN Saddles, Symmetrispokes, the Geomagnetic Booster, and POWerwheels, Sheldon "Genius, But Modest" Brown |
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George Brown photo |
Check Out All These Fine ShelBroCo Products: |
and these products from our sponsors: |
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Image Credits: Background: John Allen, Trump: US News, Carry Kit: Kasperi, Delorme map collection: hudsonmap.com, Philadelphia Cycletrack map: peopleforbikes.org, Velodrome: velodromeshop.net, PBP map: Michelin Maps & Harriet Fell, Oil lamp: Arne Hückelheim, Wikipedia, Olive oil: Alex Ex, Wikipedia Matchbook: istockphoto.com & Harriet Fell, Multito: "big chainring" on bikeforums.net, Garmin GPS: Garmin & John Allen