|Translation of the article German||
If you look at advertisements for conventional saddles you'll see adjectives like "soft" "cushy" "comfy" "padded"...no wonder this country is going down the tubes, if that's the priority of the sybaritic masses. Can total decadence and degradation be far behind? The Real MAN ® saddle offers a rugged, spartan alternative that can help restore the hardy pioneer spirit that made this great nation what it was in its prime.
Can a bicycle saddle change the world? Why not! You've gotta start somewhere, why not at the bottom?
The typical saddle sold today is made of squishy "gel" foam over a plastic base, designed to coddle the delicate derrières of women and decadent, emasculated males. They're often upholstered with slippery Lycra or similar slippery cloth. Yecch!
We will perform a chemical analysis of your blood sample to determine if your testosterone level is high enough to ride the Real MAN ® saddle!
Can't afford a genuine Real MAN ® saddle? Don't despair, ShelBroCo scientists have developed the Big Boy ®, a less expensive poured-concrete version, with a cast iron frame.
The Big Boy ® can be yours for the paltry sum of $257.95!
Weight limit: The Real MAN ® saddle is not for use by riders weighing less than 200 pounds.
Real MAN ® Saddles come with an Unconditional Lifetime Guarantee!!!
*Guaranteed for the life of the saddle, or two weeks, whichever comes first. This guarantee shall be void if the purchaser is not a real man, weighing AT LEAST 200 pounds, nor will it apply to any Real MAN ® which has been subject to on-road or off-road use. Permitting a woman or girly-man to ride the saddle will also instantly end warranty coverage, and may result in reposession. Void where prohibited, prohibited where void, keep away from children and animals, use only with adequate ventilation.
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